Movember Madness: A First-Hand Mustache Adventure

In the spirit of Movember, I have entrenched myself in a futile attempt to try and grow a mustache for approximately 12 days now.  I last shaved my top lip on Halloween, and here is my current situation, if you will.

I shared the above pictures with a group of friends to keep them apprised of my progress.  What ensued was more magical than anything I could have hoped for.  This is what happens when a group of college friends start talking about facial hair.  Enjoy!

Starting November 12, 2012 11:36AM:

Seth:

“In all its glory.  Trying to grow as fast as I can.”

“Close up.”

Ham:

“Yeah, I look like crap too…”

Toy:  “Goddamn these pictures are making me hard.”

Seth:  “Toy, I want to see an update of yours sans goatee.”

Ham: “Like a diamond in an ice storm?”

Luke:

“First, you guys gotta work on the total volume.  This is what facial hair looks like.  I’ve decided to wait until the end of the month to shave down.”

***Meanwhile, I receive a non-group text from Derek, who writes: “You guys and your iPhones, able to have this group convo…I’ll send a pick in about 8 years when I can grow anything that could be seen without a microscope.”

Ham:

“If you liked that you’ll love this close up, inclusive of neck beard…”

Seth:  “That’s almost James Harden territory.  I can only aspire for such impressive facial hair.  Sadly I know it’s a dream that will eternally remain unfulfilled.”

Luke:  “I think by the end of the month I will legitimately have more hair on my face than my head.”

Ham:  “There’s no challenge in growing a beard and then having a stache for one day though.  You need to know the pain of stache only for a full month.  Man’s game.”

Luke:  “My gym is having a beard growing event this month.  I’m trying to multitask.  Plus, there is no pain with what you are rocking.”

Ham:  “There is a lot of pain, I just didn’t shave the neck today.  I know I’m not a sex offender, but my mirror says otherwise…”

Toy:

“Booyah”

Seth:  “Beautiful.  Just beautiful.”

Ham:  “Now that is one sexy stache, well played sir.  My co-worker would like to know if that stache is ‘mascara aided’.”

Seth:  “Toy is the leader in the clubhouse at the moment, hands down.”

Jmah: 

“I figured my pic demonstrating complete lack of ability to grow facial hair would turn the convo away.  Sad, I know.”

Ham:  “Jmah, mustache, not goatee…”

Jmah:  “Come on Ham, you know I had to put out some sort of product.”

Toy:  “Nope, all naturale.  I can’t wait until this month is over.”

Ham:  “Toy is uncatchable by anyone but Luke.”

Seth:  “Give me 18 days.  I’m going to do my best.”

Ham:  “Where’s Alex’s red stache? I miss that thing.”

“Sprinkle some rogaine.”

Seth:  “I was thinking busting out the mascara.”

Luke:  “Wow Toy.  That’s strong work.  I didn’t think you had that in you.  Easily in first right now.”

Ham:  “I was supposed to be set up with a friend of a friend last Friday [but] had to decline on the grounds of improper mustache issues.”

Seth:  “Toy, how long have you been growing?”

Luke:  “F that.  I met this girl singing karaoke at a bar that was all about it.”

“Geez.  Just realized Kali and Becky are on this convo…sorry.”

Ham:  “Yes with a full BEARD.  Stache only is not the same.”

Toy:  “Nov 1st.  It grew fast but it’s slow to fill in, we’ll see what happens by the end of the month.  Don’t expect Magnum PI.”

Seth:  “I’m hoping for a ‘slow growth but fast fill in’.  If I’m doing this for a month, I want a nice reward at the end.”

Luke:  “Your tears are huge right now Ham.”

Ben:  “1) you haven’t seen mine yet 2) I’m going to kill all u for blowing up phone”

Seth:  “Sorry, Ben.  Pics??”

Ham:  “I’m convinced mine hasn’t grown any in the last five days.”

Toy:  “Its easier for Ben, he doesn’t have to worry about perceptions of being a sex offender since…. Well you know.”

Ham:  “This is one of the more embarrassing things I’ve ever done, and that’s saying a lot.”

“boom”

Ben:  “I look like a mall cop, like my name should be ‘Mitch;”

Jmah:  “Ben, that’s aggressive.”

Luke:  “I never got Ben’s pic.  Resend plz.”

Seth:  “I didn’t get it either.”

Ben:  “Toy isn’t it tough getting acting gigs as a little kid with that stache :)”

“I haven’t sent a pic yet.”

Toy:  “Well played sir.”

Ham:  “Toy I’m really torn about your pic, on one hand I want to puke, but on the other I can’t look away.”

Ben:

“Toy’s is still better, darker I admit”

Kali:  “Oh. em. gee. boys…thanks for the entertainment.  I’m at a conference and you all just cured my boredom!  Keep up the good work :)”

(skipped a few irrelevant posts)

Luke:  “Nice Ben. I like it.  Surprisingly, neither Toy’s or Ben’s is that creepy to be honest.”

Toy:  “Trust me most other people don’t share your sentiment Luke.”

Ben:  “I kinda like mine.  Been getting mixed reviews tho.”

Seth:  “Ben, all you need is a van and serial rapist glasses.”

Ham:  “Kali, lets see yours.”

Ben:  “I have a similar problem to Alex tho.  Instead of red beard tho, I get more blonde somehow.”

(Alex’s ‘red stache’ for reference purposes)

Kali:

“Be jealous guys.”

Ham:  “Awesome, now I have new pics for all of you when you call me.”

Ben:  “Yup.”

Becky:  “Wow, I had a case of the Mondays, but not anymore!”

Stay tuned for more updates in this month-long mustache saga.

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