For the next few minutes, let’s pretend you aren’t who you really are. Instead, let’s pretend you attend college at Brandon University in the lovely Canadian province of Manitoba. You’re a dedicated, hard-working student, who is studying for his Bachelors in Physical Education, which costs you roughly CAD 4,000 per semester (that’s Canadian dollars, which currently are approximately 1.07% cooler / more valuable than American dollars).
Let’s say you also happen to be a monster BU Bobcats basketball fan. Although the ‘Cats have struggled this year — posting a 7-22 record going into Friday’s match up against Regina — you’re a big fan, so you’re not about to miss a game.
Now is probably a good time to mention that during the 2012-2013 season, the BU athletic department is running a contest where one student is chosen at random to shoot a half-court shot, or pick anyone in the building to shoot it for them. Make it, and your tuition is paid. Miss, and you have a cool story to share about the time you could have had your tuition paid, but missed a half-court shot like a chump.
For Brandon University student Mason Kaluzniak, such was his fate last Friday night. Selected at random for a shot at half-court glory, let’s see how Mason chose to handle this moment.
To start things off, Mason quickly decides to enlist the help of a member of the basketball team. Smart thinking. After all, these guys practice basketball on a daily basis.
Okay, so who is it going to be? Looks like we have some good options to choose from:
Most of these guys look like they can ball. I’d be confident in just about any one of them taking the shot. So which of these clutch shooters is it going to be? Number 14, 15, one of the tall guys in the back? No? One of the guys in the front row with a goatee? No??? Then who?
Wait a minute.
Wait just a minute.
The coach? Coach Gil Cheung? In the suit and tie?
Mason, let’s talk about this. It’s your TUITION on the line. Coach probably isn’t even warm. He’s been drawing up defensive match ups and out-of-bounds plays for the past few hours. But if you insist, let’s see how this plays out.
Uh oh. I hope this is just some pre-shot stretch and not a sign of things to come. I also hope Mason isn’t pointing to show Coach Gil which basket to shoot at. I’m not feeling too confident right now.
Coach Gil starts to warm up his arms and hips in preparation of what appears to be a stationary shot. It does not appear he will take a running start, because honestly, running starts are a bit overrated. Coach Gil knows these types of things. And Mason knows that Coach Gil knows these types of things.
The mechanics of this shot attempt are shaping up to be textbook. I have a feeling Coach Gil is about to put on a clinic of sorts.
Here. We. Go.
The shot! (It’s blurry because Coach Gil is literally that quick.)
Purely angelic. Coach Gil just made it rain. In a tie and dress pants.
Brandon University is losing its mind.
Mason plays the role of the consummate pro, raising his hands above his head in triumph, but acting like he’s been there before.
Guy in blue shirt, with towel in hand, is about to do the ‘airplane’ across the entire court. He’s ready for takeoff.
There he goes.
Coach Gil (rightfully) getting mobbed as if he scored the winning goal of the World Cup.
Then this happened. Given blue shirt’s recent history, you knew anything was on the table.
Coach Gil Cheung, you are a hero.
Congratulations to Coach Cheung, Mason Kaluzniak, and the Brandon Bobcats, who beat Regina 68-54 that night.
Was there really any doubt? After all, Coach Gil just gets buckets.